Meeting

You know when you’re a child, grown-ups look so big to you; like Gods. They’re your everything. You want to be just like them. They’re so big, so tall. One day, you think, you might be lucky and become that height. Or taller. That thought makes you excited. Adults seem ageless to you. They seem old maybe, but not too old — just older than yourself. And as you get older, you realized they only are getting older, just like you are. You don’t think about it much. That’s just how life is. But the older you get, the more you notice, and the more you think about it; the more it comes across your mind. And then, one day, it hits you without a trace of recognition: that they are becoming older. They don’t look as they once did. They start to morph into a soon-to-be elder before your very eyes. You can’t help but feel sad. Sad because you won’t see them as young as they once was. Sad because the children in their lives will never know them as they were when they were younger. Sad because it’s getting closer, and closer before that day you don’t want to think about — their death.

That’s how I felt when I saw Aunt Kim for the first time in three years. She was the same, but at the same time, she wasn’t. Her once brunette hair was now almost all gray. The very few wrinkles on her face became many. Her healthy, curvy figure had slenderer greatly. The only thing that remained the same was her deep-set pale blue eyes.

It was hard to hide the shock from my face. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, stopping myself from crying out to her, and running into her arms. I knew she wasn’t one to take emotional greetings lightly. “Auntie,” I said.

“Clarissa,” she replied back with that cool voice of her’s. Erik, her only son, and my cousin, stood hovering next to her. He too, had changed since I saw him. He was no longer that lanky, awkward teen that I had see three years ago. He seemed to have grown into his body just right. There was some new muscle added to his figure, and his jawline was sharper. His brown hair shone almost gold in the light, much lighter than Aunt Kim’s, though he did share her blue eyes.

I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop the tears waiting to come. “I missed you,” I tried to say as normally as I could, my voice coming out thick.

“So did we,” she said. She waved her arm in the opposite direction, “Now shall we go? We don’t want to be late.” She then turned, with Erik following, not waiting for my response. I couldn’t help my stomach drop a little. I had forgotten how cold she was. She didn’t care about me, she just wanted to go. I wiped my eyes quickly and walked quickly to catch up with them.

The train sat, waiting, it’s smoke blowing in the cold wind.

Forest

We walked through the forest, the leaves making crackling sounds as we stepped on them. The sun shone bright in the sky. We still had a few hours of daylight, I noted to myself. We should stop soon — before it gets dark. The smell of pine leaves and fresh rain was in my nostrils. It was pleasant. For being in the current state we were in, anyways.

The trees started to clear away, and there was a bare area with only tree trunks approaching my vision. I quickened my pace, and he matched it behind me. “Let’s stop here for now,” I told him, throwing my bag on a tree trunk. I sat on the ground and slouched against it, stretching out my sore legs.

“Okay,” Tsuya nodded. He sat next to me, leaving barely any space between our shoulders. I scooted my body over an inch or two, trying not to make it too noticeable. I then pulled out a water flask and took in a few sips. The water was almost gone. I’ll have to get some more later.

I glanced over at him, he immediately turned his head away. He was watching me. My fingers tightened around the flask. I will also need to address this problem between us, as well. I can’t just ignore it. No matter, how much I would really like to.

“We should check your injuries,” I spoke up, inching a finger at his waist, where the knife had grazed his skin. He met my eyes for a moment.

“Sure.” Our gaze held for a mere second before I stood up and pulled some bandages and herbal paste from my bag.

I sat back down. He pointed his back towards me, where the injury was. “Uh, your shirt,” I told him. “I can’t–” He pulled it off, the way men usually did — by the collar. I wondered for a moment why males always did it differently than women. Somehow, it made it look more attractive.

He threw his shirt over to the side. I swallowed. “Thanks,” I said quietly. He said nothing, only nodding. The air between us was tight. We’ll have to fix this. Eventually.

I started to peel off the old bandages, that stuck to his skin by the blood. I could feel him wince at some points. It must hurt. I took the paste and spread a dab on my fingers, then I pressed it onto his skin. I could see his muscles tense at this. “It might hurt,” I warned. Of course, he already knew this, from when I applied it a few hours ago. But it’s always good to warn again. Just in case.

The wound was much better than it had been. Luckily, I had taken care of it before it could get any worse. I wrapped it up with new bandage. Tsuya assisted me with this, bringing the roll around his front, and then passing it to me to do the back. “Done,” I finished. “Is there anything else you want me to look at?” I pushed a hair out of my face.

“No,” he said, turning around to face me. He pointed to my stomach. “But you do.”

I shook my head, “I can wait.”

“No, you can’t,” he said. “Please, Sara, just take care of yourself, too, for once. Stop worrying about me.”

“Fine.” I muttered through my teeth. I started to pull up my shirt, revealing my camisole under.

“You should take off your shirt,” he said. His eyes were studying me.

“I can’t just take off my shirt in front of you, Tsuya–”

“No, just leave your camisole on.” I felt my cheeks flush. Way to jump to conclusions, Sara, I said to myself. I was thankful his expression didn’t change. I obeyed and slipped my top shirt off. My camisole was thin, but it was enough material for me to feel comfortable in it. It did show the curves of my body though. I tried to ignore his eyes staring.

I lifted it up enough to show my belly and injury. Then I applied the herb paste, and the bandages. I hadn’t of put any bandages on it before. I felt myself regretting that decision a bit. It was sore, and I flinched every time I had to wrap the bandages around my stomach.

I felt Tsuya’s hands touch mine. “Let me help,” he said. I didn’t try to refuse him. He took it from me and finished the bandages. I could feel his breath tickling the back of my neck. His arms went around me ever so often doing this, I would suck in a breath. I tried not to think too much of it. Tried.

He finished. “Thanks,” I told him, with a half-smile. I pushed the bandages and paste back into my back.

“Sara…” he said with a yearning looking. I tried to stand up. I knew where this was going — nowhere good. His hand stop me. He was grabbing my arm. Somehow, I crumbled back down, and he was embracing me. Maybe my body did it on it’s own. I would never know. He cupped my face, then he kissed me. It was a soft, light kiss. I kissed back. My fingers tangled into his hair and around his neck.

No, no, no, my mind was screaming. But my body didn’t agree. It was saying: yes, yes yes. Finally, I pulled away. I stood up abruptly, wrapping my arms around my chest. “I need to go get water,” I said, grabbing the water flask. I walked away, trying not to look at his face.

His hurt and confused face.